Can you remember the last time seeing me as a skinny person? I can't.
I've always been chubby, i think. Back in Elementary school, i was a chubby kid with a pair of nerdy glasses and real bad haircut~ Entering Jr. High, i had very low self esteem and was always very self conscious during gym classes (those ugly yellow shorts~) I was weak, non-athletic, and chubby. Somehow, my family loved me the same. I was also blessed with some good friends~ The summer prior to gr.9, i began to grow, vertically. The process continued till grade 11. I went from the short chubby kid to a lanky guy~ I would remain at that stage till second year of college, when age and all-u-can-eat cafeteria would eventually throw me back into the nightmare of my childhood. I haven't looked back since.
the thing about being fat is that you are constantly in denial. I am. I would look into the mirror after shower and try to 'strategically' fold up my arms and covered certain body part so i can convince myself that 'i am okay.' I've also gotten into the habbit of shopping for losse pants and oversized T-shirt so i can go 'hip-hop' while disguising my flobby tummy. The hardest thing about being fat is that you are usually in love with certain food item that you simply cannot resist. Every beer is my 'last' beer. Every chocolate cake is my 'last' slice.' Every single pack of fries, bowls of poutine, piece of fried chicken, Big Mac, Small Mac, Timbit, Coke, "Diet' Coke, KFC, MACD, WED, HAV......FAT. You try so hard to lie to yourself that you are one workout away from the youthful look. Somehow you can never make it to the gym.
I've got a problem, and i know it. But i need to REALLY KNOW it. Being fat is not an aesthetic concern for me. It's health. Therefore, i must addess the issue now.
so, i went to play badminton yesterday for 2 hours. then i went to sub for a team in the summer slow-pitch league. (3 AB, 2H, 2E, 1R). I got my weekly basketball league. I also got my Gym pass. Is this enough?
where is that piece of banana bread?
20060707
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Hey, Mr. lanky,
If you really think this is a problem and actually wrote an entry about it.. maybe it's a good time to consult a psychiatrist. The way you play ball and the way softball is played, they probably won't do you any good. Badminton should be great, only if you can dedicate yourself to that weekly.
And you're right, I can't remember the last time seeing you as a skinny person~
you asked for it :3
i did, didn't i~ (bbeeeaatch~)
no matter how you look or how much you weigh, i'll always love you. but if it's having such a toll on your self esteem, then maybe you should do yourself the favor. u'r right, every beer is the last beer, and this last beer just keeps reappearing...
that's why i decided not to kid myself and just drink responsibly~ =D
Post a Comment